


ice cold

by fluidgold (orphan_account)



Category: Dude That's My Ghost!
Genre: BL, Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Yaoi, bromighost, ectofeature, film sensation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 15:56:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2473964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fluidgold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer's having suicidal thoughts. Can Billy help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	ice cold

Suddenly, he realizes that he can't do this anymore. Spencer Wright turns on his heel slowly, carefully. His hands are shaking, chest heaving, tears streaming, stomach like someone had just punched him in the gut. Funny thing, too, because someone had done exactly that earlier today, and that's not even the reason it feels that way now.

A smug huff escapes the lips of the ghost behind him.

Spencer pads quietly down the lushly carpeted hallway. As he continues to walk, not even hinting at stopping, he senses the uneasy silence, and a twisted sort of triumph fills the gap in his chest.

_Just you wait, Billy._

"Spence..."

He keeps walking.

"Look, brosk- uh, Spencer, I, um, I'm sorry."

Spencer slows, waiting to hear the rest of Billy's speech before he rides the elevator up to his room. Not like it's going to change his decision anyway.

"I didn't mean any of those..., things I said to you."

He pauses.

Spencer purses his mouth into a straight line, trying not to let his face crumple. It would have been _so easy_ to succumb into tears once more, but he refuses to cry. He'll die with a clear, straight face, without pale, red tear tracks staining his cheeks. Soon, the only thing left is the salty taste of tears in his mouth, leftovers from the fight.

"I didn't..., agh, I never wanted to hurt you, I love you and I know the condition you're in isn't stable-"

_Damn right it's not._

"-and I'm an asshole, I know I am, but I'm your asshole, shit that sounded wrong, but I love you and I'm sorry, so _fucking sorry-"_

Spencer's elevator arrives at that moment with a loud ding, cutting Billy off cleanly. The sound resonates throughout the deafeningly silent house, and sad resignation plants itself into Spencer's chest with it.

He steps into it, chest aching so badly because of Billy's words, and with that he realizes that he doesn't want to leave this beautiful man behind him, leave him in the dust as he stares, shell shocked, at the rapidly disappearing boy who threw him away for himself. Or maybe, maybe it's that Billy doesn't want to lose him, and that's why he's hesitating. Yeah, that's it. He shouldn't have the capacity to care for himself.

"-and where the shit do you think you're going Spence come back here right now please _don't go up there-"_

The elevator doors shut as Spencer's final glimpse of alabaster flawless skin, emerald green eyes, sparkling with liquid regret, perfect coal black hair disappears. He's shut out the last, most beautiful thing in his life, and now all he can do is collapse on the ground and let out harsh sobs, spasms wracking his lithe frame as emptiness crashes over him.

By the time the elevator reaches his room, Spencer can't stand up, _can't fucking move,_ his heart racing and chest shuddering with every breath. Tears cascade down his face, he's choking on his own spit, his head is pounding, and he wants to be sick, to chuck out everything that had happened over the past month. He's past caring, past worrying about how every person who knew him will feel when he's dead.

He'd better get this over with quickly.

Dragging his weight on the metal railing inside the elevator, Spencer pulls himself out of the box, sneaking a glance at his reflection in a window as he trudges out onto the balcony.

So much for dying with a clean face.

As he steps out the door, a gust of wind rushes to meet Spencer, and he breathes in the cold, refreshing afternoon breeze as he walks across the concrete to the edge of the balcony. Hopping onto the thin aluminum ledge at the top of its railing, he hooks his legs behind the cold, metal bars carelessly, because it doesn't really matter whether or not he dies at this exact moment. He gazes wistfully down at his bustling city below, the baby blue sky above like a backdrop to one of his movies, just waiting to be marred with blood. From up here, cars look like bugs. People are blended into undulating blobs, bursting with life and energy. He sighs. They contrast his mood completely, totally oblivious to the fact that a child is going to die any minute now, going to come crashing down on their amoeba of humans.

He'll be there soon enough.

Suddenly, the door leading into Spencer's room, previously ajar, slams shut. Spencer whips his head around in alarm, almost losing his balance, but recovers just in time.

"Billy! What are you doing here?!" He's caught between anger, relief, and excitement. Why did Billy have to come out here right when Spencer had been ready to leave?

"Spencer, listen to me." Billy's bright malachite eyes bore into Spencer's dull brown ones, but he's unfocused, almost as if attempting to steady himself instead. "You need to come down from that ledge now." 

His eyelashes flutter, breath catching in his throat before he goes on.

"I love you. Shanilla and Rajeev love you. Hell, even Mallory probably loves you a little."

Spencer rolls his eyes at that.

"I- we need you to stay alive. And, I mean, who wouldn't? You're so talented; just look at those special effects of yours!"

Billy winks at him with a stretched, forced grin, then returns to his previous intense expression.

"Look, Spence. You're the most bromazing, unique person I've ever met, and that's saying a lot since I've obviously met myself. I love you, okay Spence? And even if your parents aren't, I will always be here for you. So please, _please_ come down from there." Billy's eyes begin to brim with liquid as he chokes out the last words.

Spencer nods slowly, once, twice, three times. He enjoys making his movies. He loves his two closest friends, and most of all, Billy. He realizes that he doesn't want to never see that handsome grin on Billy's face again, never see his beautiful green eyes and flawless skin. He can tough out the bullying in school, his parents' negligence. He'll do it.

Suddenly, Spencer feels the urge to run up to his boyfriend and hug him with all his might. He wants to thank him for saving his life, giving him hope, just being _browesome_ in general.

He unhooks his feet from the ledge, and from there everything seems to move in slow motion.

Before Spencer can shift his weight so he can hop off of the railing, a rush of wind even stronger than the first unbalances him, and he knows he's going to fall. Acceptance washes over him. Spencer Wright is going to die, and there is nothing he can do about it. 

In the split second before he tumbles off the edge, the air is heavy and deafeningly silent, laced with dread because they both know what's going to happen. A clock ticks inside Spencer's head, but to him it sounds more like a bomb. He wonders what will happen when it goes off. A glance at Billy's stricken face, and he can guess.

Then, Spencer is falling, and _screw acceptance_ , panic's setting right back in.

"BILLY!" he screams, tears whipping his skin as air rushes around him. His shirt billows around his torso, drowning him in fabric.

Suddenly, Spencer feels Billy's embrace, holding him close. And he knows Billy can't do a thing to stop his death, but he clings to his arms tighter anyway, studying every single beautiful feature of his face. 

Melancholy bubbles up in Spencer's chest. _I'll never get to hear his voice again_ , he thinks as more tears are ripped from his eyes. 

He's glad, at least, that Billy's will be the last face he sees.

They're not very far from the ground now. He can hear people screaming below him. Spencer begins to count out loud, waiting. Billy presses a kiss to his lips before burying his head into Spencer's chest and sobbing.

_Five._

_Four._

_Three._

_Two._

_One._

_Ze-_


End file.
